[ had nic had the energy to, he might have laughed at the irony of it all. at the feel of familiar toxins coursing through his veins, already withered and running out of blood to pump. at the utter futility of the gesture, when he had stressed before how significant it was.
i'm sorry, he wants to say, but he knew he didn't have the breath to explain all that he was sorry for. "everything" didn't feel personal enough, and "dragging you into all this" felt too much so. though nic isn't ever really the type to convey much with words, least of all an apology that, in the end, wouldn't really amount to much.
he's sorry, but what does that matter? he's still dying. kino is still here to see it.
when the celebre downer settles, he lets out another breath — softer, but no true difference. no effect from a drug that had as much business here, in this moment, in this situation, as kino did — which is to say, none at all, but that had been nic's fault, hadn't it? perhaps if he'd been clearer about the downer, he might have spared the kid this brief moment of hope. ]
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i'm sorry, he wants to say, but he knew he didn't have the breath to explain all that he was sorry for. "everything" didn't feel personal enough, and "dragging you into all this" felt too much so. though nic isn't ever really the type to convey much with words, least of all an apology that, in the end, wouldn't really amount to much.
he's sorry, but what does that matter? he's still dying. kino is still here to see it.
when the celebre downer settles, he lets out another breath — softer, but no true difference. no effect from a drug that had as much business here, in this moment, in this situation, as kino did — which is to say, none at all, but that had been nic's fault, hadn't it? perhaps if he'd been clearer about the downer, he might have spared the kid this brief moment of hope. ]
YouR hANDs aRe geTTinG stEaDiER.