[ why. it was a good question. it was a legitimate question. and after all he's put the kid through in these last few minutes, it was one they deserved an answer to.
for that alone, he wished he had an answer.
one that kino would be able to understand, at least, because there's a reason it wasn't them he sought out. life was a very different beast in the hands of someone who hadn't yet learned not to value it. kino's hands would not have let him fall, even when he already had two feet in the ground.
why.
it's almost funny, really. it's not the sentiment he'd expected in his last few moments; years had been spent quietly, unconsciously preparing for a finally or good riddance, and if he were any wryer, that might have been answer enough, really.
but it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter that fighting is all he knows; fighting is why he'd been born, why he'd been kept alive, and thus fighting should be why he dies. it doesn't matter that in that last hit, he'd never seen hibari's eyes light up so bright before. it doesn't matter that miles and miles and miles away is the one man who might have been able to drag his sorry ass back from the grave he's already settling himself into (time and time and time again).
and it doesn't matter that he'll never get to say any of this. this isn't really about him anymore.
hello clarice...
for that alone, he wished he had an answer.
one that kino would be able to understand, at least, because there's a reason it wasn't them he sought out. life was a very different beast in the hands of someone who hadn't yet learned not to value it. kino's hands would not have let him fall, even when he already had two feet in the ground.
why.
it's almost funny, really. it's not the sentiment he'd expected in his last few moments; years had been spent quietly, unconsciously preparing for a finally or good riddance, and if he were any wryer, that might have been answer enough, really.
but it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter that fighting is all he knows; fighting is why he'd been born, why he'd been kept alive, and thus fighting should be why he dies. it doesn't matter that in that last hit, he'd never seen hibari's eyes light up so bright before. it doesn't matter that miles and miles and miles away is the one man who might have been able to drag his sorry ass back from the grave he's already settling himself into (time and time and time again).
and it doesn't matter that he'll never get to say any of this. this isn't really about him anymore.
why?
why not. ]
wOUld aNY aNSweR ReAlLy hElp?