The kid takes a moment before replying, words issuing after one another one by one, oddly systematic and mechanical.] He was fighting with Hibari when I found him.
[Why? Kino lived with Hibari, and he was strange—thorny, somewhat confrontational—but why had he been fighting with Nic like that, especially when the man was wounded in such a way? Didn't he know? Why didn't he try to help? Get him to the medical rover? Something? They could heal practically anything here—
Why?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.]
Before that, I— [A break, a pause, something sticking in Kino's throat and they shake their head, turning their face away.
[wounds this deep, blood flowing that far. no breathing. Hinata takes a small step forward, knees weak - but he remains standing, upward and upright, even though he can't look away from the body. just a body, a broken, bled, useless thing. if caught in the midst of a fight, he'd had the energy to move. if he'd had the energy to move, he could have lived. it doesn't make sense. he hated medical, he'd said he hated medical, but he could have lived.]
[with Hibari?]
[couldn't swallow, throat too dry.]
It's going to be okay. [slips out before he can catch it, slithers on like a trout through a stream.] I'll call Tess. She... They were friends.
[-- couldn't rely on her to know what to do, but Tess please come quick it's important a text sent with eyes that could barely hold steady on the blackglass. after, feeling far away as if watching from behind a screen (Kino looked so small. like after the Black Box),]
He lived in their rover. They spoke to him occasionally, though it always felt something like a chore. Kino usually erred on the side of politeness, though—a gesture here, an occasional question on how he was faring. Well wishes when one left to go on some sort of mission or other. And after all of this, after all that they had gone through today, withstanding tears in the sky and god-knows-what pouring from them to do them all harm, he had dueled with a dying man and only pushed him closer to the end. So close that Kino hadn't been able to pull him back.
Kino has witnessed a person go from a living, breathing, animate, conscious entity to an object before. They had caused such a transmogrification on many, many occasions—directly and indirectly. This one felt the most palpable, though. They had known Nic far longer than any other person they had seen die. They had... they had started to rely on him, in a way.
They can't look away from the wounds, the still chest.
Okay? That's the first thing that breaks Kino's gaze from Nic's body, looking to Hinata. Something new stabs at them. Guilt. He looked awful too, shock chasing the color from his face—pale, like a ghost. Kino should have tried to offer some consoling words, but—
Tess. Kino's eyes grow a shade darker. Right. Tess.
The kid's head bows again, and they reach forward to pick something off of the ground. A white pen, something written in English on it—the opened side bearing a needle. Kino puts the cap back on it. It was done. It hadn't worked. Kino still didn't even know what it was supposed to do. Apparently not enough.]
I don't know. He didn't say, and I didn't watch him leave.
[blackglass in hand, screen a bright glow in the forest's light. patterns on the ground, patterns over the body. groves, gouges, gashes: like Parker's, only worse, still as stone and so much worse. probably cold to the touch (the neraki hadn't been, charred forms under ash and persecution). probably in rigor mortis. how did you tell a sleeping animal from a dead one? didn't need to look for breath. you looked, and you knew. that one's dead. this one's dead. Nic Brown is dead.]
[didn't matter that it wasn't right. it simply was.]
[hands over his head, fingers lacing awkward at his crown. felt like something should've jumped out but it didn't. felt apprehension, the restlessness begin, no outlet but another kid as distraught as him. they'd learned sign language together. they'd trick or treated, American style. that stupid monkey outfit. one foot fell in front of the other, mouth shut. paced a tight, one-two-three-four-turn, one-two-three-four-turn, to the side of the body, gaze catching red on the fifth count but otherwise looking ahead. didn't feel like much. felt like waiting. didn't know what for - Tess couldn't fix this. what was the next step? was there a next step? that meant Nic was dead.]
[Nic is dead.]
[where was Hibari?]
What's that? In your hand?
[too late to be natural, the silence having extended for solid minutes. at least it came at all. he didn't stop pacing.]
[He'd been strong. Kino had seen him go through a lot. When they had barely emerged from the jekhe forest, blood swimming with venom that made their head spin, hands shake, stomach churn—everything had been going wrong and they might've fallen unconscious (or worse) had Nic not showed up to help. Even as he did that, bleeding and facing the effects of the venom himself. And then he'd carried Kino on his back while wheeling Hermes along towards the shore to find others from their group.
Kino thinks of that as they watch Nic's still body. That, and the very hazy memories they have of when they were dreadfully ill aboard the Neheda—one of the few that had gotten only sicker with the first "cure," a small kid hidden in a corner of the infirmary who probably would've been one of the last to get the second cure had Nic not noticed and picked them up, gotten someone's attention.
They couldn't allow themself to rely on him anymore. He's gone. He's dead. He's never coming back.
Kino doesn't want to come back either.
For right now, in the face of it, Kino is still. They always are—slow to process, wheels turning gradually. Hinata might be restless, an object in motion staying in motion, but Kino was building up potential energy.
It would start to burn soon. Kino wanted to leave. It's how they grieved. Some might call it cowardly, cruel, unworthy of others, but it's their natural response. When something dug too deep, clawed too close, Kino turned and walked away. Found a new country to visit. Found new people to entertain briefly before moving on once more.
They couldn't do that here. Trapped. Trapped with memories that wouldn't disappear with time because they would be reminded of the empty space a person might've occupied had they not—
Kino turns the pen over in their hand.]
I'm... not sure. An injection. [There was a lot Kino didn't know or understand about Nic Brown, but it hadn't seemed to matter. Now...] He gave it to me a while ago. Said... I'd know when to use it.
[Kino's brow knits close together for a moment, then calm. Nothing.] It didn't help him.
[The last thing she wants is a cryptic text message. Not another, even if Niko's hadn't been half so cryptic as it had been blunt. But it's not one she's likely to ignore, even if she might want to in one way or another.
She doesn't run. He'd had time to text over call. Stil, she moves with purpose, quick businesslike steps that tell more emotion then the rest of her put together. Sets the cuff to tracking for the second time that day, and follows it's directions to somewhere secluded and quiet and familiar for it.
She doesn't stop when she sees Hinata- alive. An anxious line, arms set tense. But she does when she gets close enough to see Kino, small body tucked up on the ground and-
Footsteps stop all at once, hands covered in dirt and blood at her side, far enough she can't see what they're hovering over. Just a body.
But of course she can. She's not blind, even if her eyes would never be as sharp as his. All familiar and she knew if he was alive this isn't how these kids would look.]
Fuck. [Her voice doesn't crack or break. Practically spat out and too loud in the quiet place of Macha after a battle. Frank in some way.]
[in that way, pain didn't register. pacing continued until another figure broke through the underbrush, not loud in footsteps but loud in presence, who--? and oh. a curse word hits the air; his arms drop, heels clicking together as he about-faces to her. opens his mouth - like venom from a snake's fangs, bitter, acrid - and wonders what should we do?]
Kino found him fighting Hibari Kyoya. [and.] He fell first.
[always had been one for giving up, hadn't he been?]
[-- this was a little different.]
Should we bury him?
[wants to ask more broadly, wants to rely. refuses to, insomuch as is possible (he'd texted her, hadn't he? - she's his friend). Kino didn't look like herself; didn't have an explanation or directive. Nic obviously didn't. none of it was right. burial-- cremation, maybe? he would've picked cremation, but Nic was Western, and they'd seen enough fire- seemed the only possible next step.]
In a way, death seems to make something feel even more concrete. There's nothing more real to Kino than inanimate body, especially one of someone who Kino had just been with several days ago. People, as they were, were transient. In your life for a few hours at a time, snatches of experiences that one could so easily take for granted. Sometimes, to Kino, people could feel more like experiences than actual people—events that happened, which could be put in chronological order and enjoyed like flipping through the pages of a journal.
They'd started to feel more real here. Momentary points in time solidified into a person with habits, quirks, feelings, faults. That transformation had been strange (even frightening) to Kino, at first. The ensuing sense of seeing someone again was strange and novel, especially after years of being nearly alone.
And to have that gone in an instant. Perhaps that was the coalescence of the reality of a person to Kino. When they were finally gone.
Kino first registers that Tess has arrived when she speaks up—curses, actually, though the word doesn't sound acerbic in Kino's ear as it might normally. They can only focus on the feeling of it. People grieve in different ways. Kino, momentarily stalling out; Hinata, restless and somewhat systematic; Tess... honest, showing hurt in a way that came to her naturally.
Hinata tells the truth of it—they had been fighting, and Hibari had left. Nic had still been alive at that point, but...
Kino remembers him smiling and shaking his head, changing subjects, avoiding whenever Kino had suggested after missions and battles he go and get his wounds seen to. It—why had he always—]
We should.
[That's what one did with a body, after all. Or what they should do.
Kino had seen plenty of people die. They had killed many of them. They had never buried anyone.]
[They're a mess. Hinata's edgy and aggressive and sharp. Turns to her too-quick and too sudden and says too much all at once. Spits out all the words and it's half a question and half not. Takes her a second to absorb what he's even saying, eyes flicking down to the other one, curled up and inward. All opposites but she doesn't need to a mind reader to see they aren't opposite at all right now.
People got funny with death. She should know.
She wished she could convince herself she couldn't handle this. Not again, a second time in a day. Not with a kid she knows better than she should and one she barely knows at all. But she could. Didn't have a choice.]
The kid?
[Latches on to that, first. Fighting with someone who was an annoyance at worse. Had reminded her of Nic in the first place, even if she didn't know him well. All spoiling for a fight. Hard to picture it as a necessary thing. There's a story there. Maybe later she'll give a shit enough to find out what it is.
Should they bury him? God, yes. Of course. There wasn't really much of a choice. Even if there was, she owed him that. Cashing in all at once. Asshole.]
Yeah.
[It's not much of an answer. There's too many problems here that need fixing- none of them fixable- all at once. Flicks her eyes between Hinata and Kino and settles for Kino, first. A few more steps, closer, closer, and then she can see him and she pays him absolutely no goddamn mind. Not yet. Goes down on her heels by the kid. And there's never much soft about her but right now she's had the last bits ground off and all that's left is hard. When she speaks it's with authority. Not a lot else she has to turn to. Tries to meet their eyes, if they'll let her, expression set firm but there's dark circles under her eyes that she doesn't know are there.]
I need you to take Hinata back to the rovers and pick up some shovels.
[Looks back to Hinata, eyebrows lifting the barest amount. Making a play- put Kino in charge of taking care of Hinata. Try to let Hinata know it's not because she doesn't trust him. Hope it leaves them both feeling responsible enough to move forward.
Delicate fucking balance. Always.]
I'll watch him.
[And that's an easy enough promise to keep, at least. For once. Hadn't been much good at it up until now.]
[a nod. the kid. the friend. the betrayal, sick and heavy, too confused to muck up anything just yet. no plans, no forward momentum. for all his restlessness, he'd lost inertia. couldn't think of what to think but at least they received the obvious course of action well: Kino's support, Tess's affirmation. so they'd bury him. put him in the ground and leave him to rot.]
[wouldn't get far. the planet was set to blow.]
[...]
I know where some are. [couldn't remember Tess going from standing to crouching, but it stalls his feet. catches the end words, gets the gist. catches the look - can't get his head on straight enough to change his own. it'd crash in later, all the realizations, anxiety and apprehension-- he knew it would, that was how it worked, these things came in waves, flooded the lands and receded until one almost got back on their feet, until a return and it'd almost be better to live at the bottom if only they could breathe there.]
[legs trembled. he took a step forward, this time angled for the two of them. if Kino didn't push people away--]
Let's go. [we'll be back fast. eyes don't stray from Kino's small form (smaller than him, weren't they?), but he hopes Tess catches that. knowing her, she'd appreciate time alone with the revelation.]
[not too much time, though. he couldn't think anyone would want that much time with their own thoughts (and a corpse).]
[if Kino made to stand, he'd be at their side, a hand reaching for their elbow or shoulder. a little anchor, nothing big. a few shovels, nothing big. like the original orange mission. it'd be fine.]
[Kid. She's right—Hibari was scarcely older than them. A year or so older than Kino, roughly the same age as Hinata, but... Kino can't figure it out. Why had he done something like that? From the few weeks that they had known him, living in the same rover, he was strange but he hadn't seemed outwardly malicious. They had no idea what Nic's relationship might've been with Hibari, but it had ended in blood. It was easy to stick in the tack of tricky subjects like why, but one had to realize there would be time to try to piece together that later. For now, there was the physical aftermath to deal with.
A burial. Kino had never buried a body, despite leaving many. It was too easy to turn and leave all behind; they never really thought of what happened to the physical shells left behind. The man named Kino's body had probably been disposed of in their birth country—perhaps thrown away, like the corpses of the tribesmen murdered by the kind country. It was because they had been in the hands of those who did not care. Kino might not have any experience, but giving Nic the last type of honor they might be able to was something they could focus on. Anything to get unlocked from this position (legs numb with a lack of circulation, shoulders stiff, back aching) and moving forward.
The kid realizes Tess is kneeling beside them a bit belatedly; a shock when she addresses them, a haze lifting from their eyes in a flash as they turn to look at her. She's... oddly calm, though—grim, in a word Kino can find. Sadness, too; not as evident in tone nor expression but Kino knows what etches hollows beneath a person's eyes. The traveler didn't expect anything gentle from a woman that they saw cut from the same cloth as their master, but honestly the straight-forward task was the best kindness she could offer.
It's good Hinata knows where some shovels might be, because Kino didn't, and looking would lead to wandering and wandering would lead to—they didn't know. They didn't want to leave Nic, but he was already gone; there's just the body and the thought to honor him by burying it. It's hard to focus on that. Kino had never done it—it was a concept in abstract.
Hinata approaches then, and Kino stands. There's a sway in the motion, blood returning to their legs and aches flaring before fading. They're aware of the blood on their clothes—sleeves, knees, the hem of the coat. They leave behind a roll of gauze, a length separated, twisted and rumpled and bloodied in desperation to try to stop it, fix it, help—Kino didn't notice, though, turning with Hinata's hand on their arm, and it might not be much but... in a way, it was. Because they might not have understood or allowed such a thing previously, but now, for some reason, it just helps to show that none of them were alone in this, though Nic leaving just set the feeling of loss so deep in the kid it was hard to see past it.
Steps forward, Hinata at their side, trying to focus on the road ahead, forest then camp then... they don't know. They are having trouble seeing the road ahead.]
Lead the way, [a mechanical phrase, and an empty one, out of place in person and situation; one Kino had learned, of course, but practically never used. No one led Kino—they found paths and traveled them, but when there were no paths to find...
[They take the bait. Not like it's not a genuine request, but it gets her what she needs- them moving, not staring at a dead man they both called friend, neither of them breaking just yet. Tess watches Kino stand, the long line of gauze tumbling out in their wake, useless worthless thing.
Poor kid.
She stays where she is, waits, watches them leave, until she's sure they'll manage, one foot in front of the other. She aught to call someone to help, It was hard sort of work. The soil here was heavy and wet and not without the tangled roots of trees and stones. But who the hell would she call? Joel? Fucking laughable There wasn't really anyone. No, she'd do it herself, with a couple of kids who'd probably never done anything like it. Hope that it left them so tired they wouldn't have the energy to think. Better that way, probably. Maybe they'd be able to sleep, then.
Hell She's been sitting there too long with her back to a corpse and no company but the birds. It wouldn't take them all that long to get back, especially not if Kino found that motorcycle of theirs. Lets out a breath she hasn't really been holding, pushes herself to her feet for no damn reason at all. Another long second, stalling, before she turns on her heels, just a few steps until she can lower herself back down to her heels, get lazy and sit, ass the the ground next to him.]
Wade Wilson, huh?
[Fingers laced over the top of her knees. Not all that much different than Kino, except the the line of her legs is loser. Shoulders more open.]
You're real shit at this, you know?
[Lifts a single dirty, smudged red-black hand to scratch her thumb against the line of her cheek. Her voice is level and familiar. Raw only from lack of sleep.]
Ellie's dead. I figure you probably didn't know. Can't imagine you'd be pulling this shit on me if you did. Might apologize for whining to you about it, except you're fucking dead, so I guess you're going to have to put up with it, huh?
[She almost says I need you. But it doesn't make much sense to lie to a dead man. Especially not one who could usually tell when she was full of shit anyway.]
Fucked up again, big surprise. Birds of a feather, right?
[And she's as soft as she's likely to be.]
I really could have used you.
[Closer to the truth. Drags her eyes down from where they're trained forward to look at him. Paler, but not half so much as the girl she'd put in the ground what, an hour ago? She reaches out a hand, brushes his fringe back, barest amount of contact. The cool of his skin doesn't make he's crawl. It's not unfamiliar.
She doesn't kiss him. She hasn't been that naive in a long damn time. Leaves her hand to fall in the dirt beside her.]
At least you got a haircut.
[Shifts, enough to reach the other into her back pocket. Avoids the familiar line of a useless object, long smooth line of it, the frayed edges of a picture that doesn't belong to her, and finds what she's looking for. Brought up between her knees and the lurid red of the wrapper looks even more garish and artificial in the filtered light of Macha. Unwraps it slow, thoughtful, dirty fingers wiped off absentmindedly before she puts it in her mouth.
Just as over-sweet and fake as she'd expected. Stale, too. Hard to imagine it was worth the wait.
When the kids get back that's where they'll find her. Dry eyed and a strawberry candy tucked in the back of her cheek.]
[when the kids reach the camp, it's through a mostly quiet walk - Hinata takes up mumbling something under his breath, though the translators didn't catch it and, if prompted, he would look confused and then wave it off as nothing. he sticks close to Kino-- refuses to move more than two steps ahead or behind them, despite eyes that remain forward and attention that is quite obviously fractured. the only exception occurs when they reach one of their rovers, the shovels that had clambered around since the digging (another hoax) in Ajna. no frozen ground this time. no explosives, either, which-- almost makes him snort, makes him laugh, but the sound happens in his head and doesn't make it out his throat.]
[shovels gotten, they trek to return. it passes in a blur. he stopped muttering.]
[quiet, quiet - everything so quiet, the camp too empty after the new recruits' disappearances, bloodshed and death. quiet, Tess next to a still body. always had tended toward short, hadn't he-- Hinata hadn't noticed but he saw it now, from crown to foot, the muscle packed in and gods, he must've been heavy. would be heavy. tongue darting out to dampen dry lips, pupils jumping to Tess.]
[silent, shovel in hand, its spade stuck into the ground - moved to give the other to Tess, wordless and watchful in the way any person that couldn't close their eyes were.]
[With how quiet it was in camp—little more than the sounds of the forest and the subdued hum of distant, hushed conversations, the occasional voice picking up into the tone of an imperative—Kino notices the way he begins to speak under his breath. Initially it seems a bit jarring, but the traveler doesn't make a move to try to draw attention to it. They've seen plenty of people deal with death and loss in plenty of ways; it didn't seem so strange when viewed through that lens. They stick close to Hinata as well, occasionally tugging his sleeve to pull him to a stop should someone need to pass in front of them carrying something, or something similar. They are the one following him, though; all the way until they reach a rover, fetch the shovels (Kino hadn't used them on Ajna, and they feel cumbersome in hand now), and then turn around to return.
Later Kino wouldn't even remember this span of time. The mundane always got lost, slipping through the cracks of memory. Especially when bookended by memories like that of Nic dying, of them digging to bury him... The mind tended to prioritize. Or, rather, it tended to take a much more detailed record of what hurt.
It was strange to find Tess as she was, almost an echo of some time ago when she had arrived to find Kino and Hinata in similar-yet-different stages of shock and grief.
Hinata hands the other shovel to her and Kino's eyes mechanically scan the surrounding area. The next step was something they could always focus on. It was everything else that was growing too overwhelming to see properly.] Where?
[It doesn't take long, really. They clearly hadn't stalled. Tess waits until they get all the way back into the small clearing, blinks slowly as Hinata hands her the shovel and takes it easily in her already dirty palm. Uses it to pull herself up slow and steady.
This wasn't going to be easy.
She waits until she's totally steadied on her feet. Takes no notice of the wrapper that falls off her lap and drifts off, lost as anything else. Takes a deep breath and shifts the candy from one side of her cheek to the other, slow and thoughtless. Meets Hinata's eyes long enough to assure he's holding up. And to let him know she's doing the same. Redirects her attentions to Kino, their question. An easy answer.]
Over there, [nods her head towards the left, easy tilt] Less trees. Roots are a problem around here.
[It's flat and even and business-like. As if they were discussing the weather. Necessity was the father of a lot of things.]
Ready?
[Fingers wrapped tight around the shovel, a last look at both kids before she set in to digging herself the deepest hole she'd be able to with two kids and a few hours. Deep enough to pass until this place got eaten up into nothingness.]
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The kid takes a moment before replying, words issuing after one another one by one, oddly systematic and mechanical.] He was fighting with Hibari when I found him.
[Why? Kino lived with Hibari, and he was strange—thorny, somewhat confrontational—but why had he been fighting with Nic like that, especially when the man was wounded in such a way? Didn't he know? Why didn't he try to help? Get him to the medical rover? Something? They could heal practically anything here—
Why?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.]
Before that, I— [A break, a pause, something sticking in Kino's throat and they shake their head, turning their face away.
Part of this still feels like their fault.]
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[wounds this deep, blood flowing that far. no breathing. Hinata takes a small step forward, knees weak - but he remains standing, upward and upright, even though he can't look away from the body. just a body, a broken, bled, useless thing. if caught in the midst of a fight, he'd had the energy to move. if he'd had the energy to move, he could have lived. it doesn't make sense. he hated medical, he'd said he hated medical, but he could have lived.]
[with Hibari?]
[couldn't swallow, throat too dry.]
It's going to be okay. [slips out before he can catch it, slithers on like a trout through a stream.] I'll call Tess. She... They were friends.
[-- couldn't rely on her to know what to do, but Tess please come quick it's important a text sent with eyes that could barely hold steady on the blackglass. after, feeling far away as if watching from behind a screen (Kino looked so small. like after the Black Box),]
Where's Hibari?
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He lived in their rover. They spoke to him occasionally, though it always felt something like a chore. Kino usually erred on the side of politeness, though—a gesture here, an occasional question on how he was faring. Well wishes when one left to go on some sort of mission or other. And after all of this, after all that they had gone through today, withstanding tears in the sky and god-knows-what pouring from them to do them all harm, he had dueled with a dying man and only pushed him closer to the end. So close that Kino hadn't been able to pull him back.
Kino has witnessed a person go from a living, breathing, animate, conscious entity to an object before. They had caused such a transmogrification on many, many occasions—directly and indirectly. This one felt the most palpable, though. They had known Nic far longer than any other person they had seen die. They had... they had started to rely on him, in a way.
They can't look away from the wounds, the still chest.
Okay? That's the first thing that breaks Kino's gaze from Nic's body, looking to Hinata. Something new stabs at them. Guilt. He looked awful too, shock chasing the color from his face—pale, like a ghost. Kino should have tried to offer some consoling words, but—
Tess. Kino's eyes grow a shade darker. Right. Tess.
The kid's head bows again, and they reach forward to pick something off of the ground. A white pen, something written in English on it—the opened side bearing a needle. Kino puts the cap back on it. It was done. It hadn't worked. Kino still didn't even know what it was supposed to do. Apparently not enough.]
I don't know. He didn't say, and I didn't watch him leave.
[Kino keeps holding onto the pen.]
no subject
[didn't matter that it wasn't right. it simply was.]
[hands over his head, fingers lacing awkward at his crown. felt like something should've jumped out but it didn't. felt apprehension, the restlessness begin, no outlet but another kid as distraught as him. they'd learned sign language together. they'd trick or treated, American style. that stupid monkey outfit. one foot fell in front of the other, mouth shut. paced a tight, one-two-three-four-turn, one-two-three-four-turn, to the side of the body, gaze catching red on the fifth count but otherwise looking ahead. didn't feel like much. felt like waiting. didn't know what for - Tess couldn't fix this. what was the next step? was there a next step? that meant Nic was dead.]
[Nic is dead.]
[where was Hibari?]
What's that? In your hand?
[too late to be natural, the silence having extended for solid minutes. at least it came at all. he didn't stop pacing.]
no subject
Kino thinks of that as they watch Nic's still body. That, and the very hazy memories they have of when they were dreadfully ill aboard the Neheda—one of the few that had gotten only sicker with the first "cure," a small kid hidden in a corner of the infirmary who probably would've been one of the last to get the second cure had Nic not noticed and picked them up, gotten someone's attention.
They couldn't allow themself to rely on him anymore. He's gone. He's dead. He's never coming back.
Kino doesn't want to come back either.
For right now, in the face of it, Kino is still. They always are—slow to process, wheels turning gradually. Hinata might be restless, an object in motion staying in motion, but Kino was building up potential energy.
It would start to burn soon. Kino wanted to leave. It's how they grieved. Some might call it cowardly, cruel, unworthy of others, but it's their natural response. When something dug too deep, clawed too close, Kino turned and walked away. Found a new country to visit. Found new people to entertain briefly before moving on once more.
They couldn't do that here. Trapped. Trapped with memories that wouldn't disappear with time because they would be reminded of the empty space a person might've occupied had they not—
Kino turns the pen over in their hand.]
I'm... not sure. An injection. [There was a lot Kino didn't know or understand about Nic Brown, but it hadn't seemed to matter. Now...] He gave it to me a while ago. Said... I'd know when to use it.
[Kino's brow knits close together for a moment, then calm. Nothing.] It didn't help him.
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She doesn't run. He'd had time to text over call. Stil, she moves with purpose, quick businesslike steps that tell more emotion then the rest of her put together. Sets the cuff to tracking for the second time that day, and follows it's directions to somewhere secluded and quiet and familiar for it.
She doesn't stop when she sees Hinata- alive. An anxious line, arms set tense. But she does when she gets close enough to see Kino, small body tucked up on the ground and-
Footsteps stop all at once, hands covered in dirt and blood at her side, far enough she can't see what they're hovering over. Just a body.
But of course she can. She's not blind, even if her eyes would never be as sharp as his. All familiar and she knew if he was alive this isn't how these kids would look.]
Fuck. [Her voice doesn't crack or break. Practically spat out and too loud in the quiet place of Macha after a battle. Frank in some way.]
no subject
[Hinata nods, quick and sharp.]
[it just didn't seem real.]
[in that way, pain didn't register. pacing continued until another figure broke through the underbrush, not loud in footsteps but loud in presence, who--? and oh. a curse word hits the air; his arms drop, heels clicking together as he about-faces to her. opens his mouth - like venom from a snake's fangs, bitter, acrid - and wonders what should we do?]
Kino found him fighting Hibari Kyoya. [and.] He fell first.
[always had been one for giving up, hadn't he been?]
[-- this was a little different.]
Should we bury him?
[wants to ask more broadly, wants to rely. refuses to, insomuch as is possible (he'd texted her, hadn't he? - she's his friend). Kino didn't look like herself; didn't have an explanation or directive. Nic obviously didn't. none of it was right. burial-- cremation, maybe? he would've picked cremation, but Nic was Western, and they'd seen enough fire- seemed the only possible next step.]
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In a way, death seems to make something feel even more concrete. There's nothing more real to Kino than inanimate body, especially one of someone who Kino had just been with several days ago. People, as they were, were transient. In your life for a few hours at a time, snatches of experiences that one could so easily take for granted. Sometimes, to Kino, people could feel more like experiences than actual people—events that happened, which could be put in chronological order and enjoyed like flipping through the pages of a journal.
They'd started to feel more real here. Momentary points in time solidified into a person with habits, quirks, feelings, faults. That transformation had been strange (even frightening) to Kino, at first. The ensuing sense of seeing someone again was strange and novel, especially after years of being nearly alone.
And to have that gone in an instant. Perhaps that was the coalescence of the reality of a person to Kino. When they were finally gone.
Kino first registers that Tess has arrived when she speaks up—curses, actually, though the word doesn't sound acerbic in Kino's ear as it might normally. They can only focus on the feeling of it. People grieve in different ways. Kino, momentarily stalling out; Hinata, restless and somewhat systematic; Tess... honest, showing hurt in a way that came to her naturally.
Hinata tells the truth of it—they had been fighting, and Hibari had left. Nic had still been alive at that point, but...
Kino remembers him smiling and shaking his head, changing subjects, avoiding whenever Kino had suggested after missions and battles he go and get his wounds seen to. It—why had he always—]
We should.
[That's what one did with a body, after all. Or what they should do.
Kino had seen plenty of people die. They had killed many of them. They had never buried anyone.]
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People got funny with death. She should know.
She wished she could convince herself she couldn't handle this. Not again, a second time in a day. Not with a kid she knows better than she should and one she barely knows at all. But she could. Didn't have a choice.]
The kid?
[Latches on to that, first. Fighting with someone who was an annoyance at worse. Had reminded her of Nic in the first place, even if she didn't know him well. All spoiling for a fight. Hard to picture it as a necessary thing. There's a story there. Maybe later she'll give a shit enough to find out what it is.
Should they bury him? God, yes. Of course. There wasn't really much of a choice. Even if there was, she owed him that. Cashing in all at once. Asshole.]
Yeah.
[It's not much of an answer. There's too many problems here that need fixing- none of them fixable- all at once. Flicks her eyes between Hinata and Kino and settles for Kino, first. A few more steps, closer, closer, and then she can see him and she pays him absolutely no goddamn mind. Not yet. Goes down on her heels by the kid. And there's never much soft about her but right now she's had the last bits ground off and all that's left is hard. When she speaks it's with authority. Not a lot else she has to turn to. Tries to meet their eyes, if they'll let her, expression set firm but there's dark circles under her eyes that she doesn't know are there.]
I need you to take Hinata back to the rovers and pick up some shovels.
[Looks back to Hinata, eyebrows lifting the barest amount. Making a play- put Kino in charge of taking care of Hinata. Try to let Hinata know it's not because she doesn't trust him. Hope it leaves them both feeling responsible enough to move forward.
Delicate fucking balance. Always.]
I'll watch him.
[And that's an easy enough promise to keep, at least. For once. Hadn't been much good at it up until now.]
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[wouldn't get far. the planet was set to blow.]
[...]
I know where some are. [couldn't remember Tess going from standing to crouching, but it stalls his feet. catches the end words, gets the gist. catches the look - can't get his head on straight enough to change his own. it'd crash in later, all the realizations, anxiety and apprehension-- he knew it would, that was how it worked, these things came in waves, flooded the lands and receded until one almost got back on their feet, until a return and it'd almost be better to live at the bottom if only they could breathe there.]
[legs trembled. he took a step forward, this time angled for the two of them. if Kino didn't push people away--]
Let's go. [we'll be back fast. eyes don't stray from Kino's small form (smaller than him, weren't they?), but he hopes Tess catches that. knowing her, she'd appreciate time alone with the revelation.]
[not too much time, though. he couldn't think anyone would want that much time with their own thoughts (and a corpse).]
[if Kino made to stand, he'd be at their side, a hand reaching for their elbow or shoulder. a little anchor, nothing big. a few shovels, nothing big. like the original orange mission. it'd be fine.]
late night tag sorry for clunkiness
A burial. Kino had never buried a body, despite leaving many. It was too easy to turn and leave all behind; they never really thought of what happened to the physical shells left behind. The man named Kino's body had probably been disposed of in their birth country—perhaps thrown away, like the corpses of the tribesmen murdered by the kind country. It was because they had been in the hands of those who did not care. Kino might not have any experience, but giving Nic the last type of honor they might be able to was something they could focus on. Anything to get unlocked from this position (legs numb with a lack of circulation, shoulders stiff, back aching) and moving forward.
The kid realizes Tess is kneeling beside them a bit belatedly; a shock when she addresses them, a haze lifting from their eyes in a flash as they turn to look at her. She's... oddly calm, though—grim, in a word Kino can find. Sadness, too; not as evident in tone nor expression but Kino knows what etches hollows beneath a person's eyes. The traveler didn't expect anything gentle from a woman that they saw cut from the same cloth as their master, but honestly the straight-forward task was the best kindness she could offer.
It's good Hinata knows where some shovels might be, because Kino didn't, and looking would lead to wandering and wandering would lead to—they didn't know. They didn't want to leave Nic, but he was already gone; there's just the body and the thought to honor him by burying it. It's hard to focus on that. Kino had never done it—it was a concept in abstract.
Hinata approaches then, and Kino stands. There's a sway in the motion, blood returning to their legs and aches flaring before fading. They're aware of the blood on their clothes—sleeves, knees, the hem of the coat. They leave behind a roll of gauze, a length separated, twisted and rumpled and bloodied in desperation to try to stop it, fix it, help—Kino didn't notice, though, turning with Hinata's hand on their arm, and it might not be much but... in a way, it was. Because they might not have understood or allowed such a thing previously, but now, for some reason, it just helps to show that none of them were alone in this, though Nic leaving just set the feeling of loss so deep in the kid it was hard to see past it.
Steps forward, Hinata at their side, trying to focus on the road ahead, forest then camp then... they don't know. They are having trouble seeing the road ahead.]
Lead the way, [a mechanical phrase, and an empty one, out of place in person and situation; one Kino had learned, of course, but practically never used. No one led Kino—they found paths and traveled them, but when there were no paths to find...
In the end, they do follow.]
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Poor kid.
She stays where she is, waits, watches them leave, until she's sure they'll manage, one foot in front of the other. She aught to call someone to help, It was hard sort of work. The soil here was heavy and wet and not without the tangled roots of trees and stones. But who the hell would she call? Joel? Fucking laughable There wasn't really anyone. No, she'd do it herself, with a couple of kids who'd probably never done anything like it. Hope that it left them so tired they wouldn't have the energy to think. Better that way, probably. Maybe they'd be able to sleep, then.
Hell She's been sitting there too long with her back to a corpse and no company but the birds. It wouldn't take them all that long to get back, especially not if Kino found that motorcycle of theirs. Lets out a breath she hasn't really been holding, pushes herself to her feet for no damn reason at all. Another long second, stalling, before she turns on her heels, just a few steps until she can lower herself back down to her heels, get lazy and sit, ass the the ground next to him.]
Wade Wilson, huh?
[Fingers laced over the top of her knees. Not all that much different than Kino, except the the line of her legs is loser. Shoulders more open.]
You're real shit at this, you know?
[Lifts a single dirty, smudged red-black hand to scratch her thumb against the line of her cheek. Her voice is level and familiar. Raw only from lack of sleep.]
Ellie's dead. I figure you probably didn't know. Can't imagine you'd be pulling this shit on me if you did. Might apologize for whining to you about it, except you're fucking dead, so I guess you're going to have to put up with it, huh?
[She almost says I need you. But it doesn't make much sense to lie to a dead man. Especially not one who could usually tell when she was full of shit anyway.]
Fucked up again, big surprise. Birds of a feather, right?
[And she's as soft as she's likely to be.]
I really could have used you.
[Closer to the truth. Drags her eyes down from where they're trained forward to look at him. Paler, but not half so much as the girl she'd put in the ground what, an hour ago? She reaches out a hand, brushes his fringe back, barest amount of contact. The cool of his skin doesn't make he's crawl. It's not unfamiliar.
She doesn't kiss him. She hasn't been that naive in a long damn time. Leaves her hand to fall in the dirt beside her.]
At least you got a haircut.
[Shifts, enough to reach the other into her back pocket. Avoids the familiar line of a useless object, long smooth line of it, the frayed edges of a picture that doesn't belong to her, and finds what she's looking for. Brought up between her knees and the lurid red of the wrapper looks even more garish and artificial in the filtered light of Macha. Unwraps it slow, thoughtful, dirty fingers wiped off absentmindedly before she puts it in her mouth.
Just as over-sweet and fake as she'd expected. Stale, too. Hard to imagine it was worth the wait.
When the kids get back that's where they'll find her. Dry eyed and a strawberry candy tucked in the back of her cheek.]
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[shovels gotten, they trek to return. it passes in a blur. he stopped muttering.]
[quiet, quiet - everything so quiet, the camp too empty after the new recruits' disappearances, bloodshed and death. quiet, Tess next to a still body. always had tended toward short, hadn't he-- Hinata hadn't noticed but he saw it now, from crown to foot, the muscle packed in and gods, he must've been heavy. would be heavy. tongue darting out to dampen dry lips, pupils jumping to Tess.]
[silent, shovel in hand, its spade stuck into the ground - moved to give the other to Tess, wordless and watchful in the way any person that couldn't close their eyes were.]
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Later Kino wouldn't even remember this span of time. The mundane always got lost, slipping through the cracks of memory. Especially when bookended by memories like that of Nic dying, of them digging to bury him... The mind tended to prioritize. Or, rather, it tended to take a much more detailed record of what hurt.
It was strange to find Tess as she was, almost an echo of some time ago when she had arrived to find Kino and Hinata in similar-yet-different stages of shock and grief.
Hinata hands the other shovel to her and Kino's eyes mechanically scan the surrounding area. The next step was something they could always focus on. It was everything else that was growing too overwhelming to see properly.] Where?
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This wasn't going to be easy.
She waits until she's totally steadied on her feet. Takes no notice of the wrapper that falls off her lap and drifts off, lost as anything else. Takes a deep breath and shifts the candy from one side of her cheek to the other, slow and thoughtless. Meets Hinata's eyes long enough to assure he's holding up. And to let him know she's doing the same. Redirects her attentions to Kino, their question. An easy answer.]
Over there, [nods her head towards the left, easy tilt] Less trees. Roots are a problem around here.
[It's flat and even and business-like. As if they were discussing the weather. Necessity was the father of a lot of things.]
Ready?
[Fingers wrapped tight around the shovel, a last look at both kids before she set in to digging herself the deepest hole she'd be able to with two kids and a few hours. Deep enough to pass until this place got eaten up into nothingness.]